As we get ready to sit down tonight to watch some of the greatest players in the world take the field in St. Louis, we at 108 Red Stitches feel that its time to sit back and reflect on those players who didn't receive top honors.

No, we're not talking about the guys who got snubbed and weren't voted or picked for the 2009 All-Star game.

We're talking about our favorite mid season award; "The False Stars".

We've compiled a list of some of the worst players in the majors, and are willing trot them out against any Triple A, softball beer league, or even Little League All Star team.

And we're willing to bet, they'll lose.

Geovany Soto, Catcher: Not are you trailing the runner up for this position (Russell Martin) by twenty three hits (Soto has 50, Russ has 73), but you just landed your sorry .230 BA ass on the disabled list and may miss about a months worth of games.

Chad Tracy, 1B: Five home runs and a paltry .222 BA gets you the starting job at first base on the 2009 False Stars. Nagging injuries haven't helped Tracy, and despite the Diamondbacks recent release of Tony Clark, Tracy is in a constant state of fear that he'll lose his job to Mark Reynolds or one of the two hot prospects the D-backs have in the farm system.

Howie Kendrick, 2B: Apparently being anointed the "second coming of Christ" at the beginning of the season doesn't translate into big league success. Before a recent rebound thanks to a demotion to Triple A, Kendrick's season was horrific. He's currently sporting a batting average of .239. Kendrick's been touted as a power hitting second basemen, but his four home runs puts him behind sluggers like Mike Fontenot, Jayson Nix, and Brendon Harris.

Yuniesky Betancourt, SS: Public spats with your manager and a .250 batting average with 2 dingers gets you traded to baseball purgatory (Kansas City). Betancourt's miserable defense and his reluctance to take a few pitches makes him the starting shortstop for the 2009 False Stars

Chris Davis, 3B: Davis is the hands down, odds on favorite to win the MVP of the 2009 False Star game. Davis is currently batting .202. Despite his 15 home runs and 33 rbis, Davis spent a chunk of time in the minors trying to correct his swing. Davis' 2009 season is a far cry from his spectacular 2008 campaign, and he is the most deserving of the False Star distinction.

Willy Tavarez, OF: After stealing 62 bases last season, you'd think he wouldn't have to fight for playing time with Chris Dickerson. But thanks to a .245 batting average (worst among leadoff hitters, or those posing as leadoff hitters) and only 17 steals, Tavarez is runner up to Davis in the 2009 False Stars MVP voting.

Rick Ankiel, OF: Maybe its time for Rick to make a position change; we heard he used to pitch. Ankiel is flashing a .071 batting average in the first half of July and he's put up some gaudy numbers throughout the 09 campaign; .215 BA, 5 home runs, 22 RBI, and one stolen base. Injuries aside, Ankiel's season is almost down the drain.

Chris Young, OF: Time to rename the Mendoza Line to the Chris Young Line. Young's posted a .198 batting average, landing him the starting right field spot on the 2009 False Stars Roster. Six home runs and 25 RBI's later, and you have to begin to wonder if the Chris Young era is coming to a close in Arizona.

Chien Ming Wang, SP: Every fifth day in New York, thousands of responsible parents are covering their children's eyes. Wang has pitched 42 innings this season, and his era is finally under 10. Heck, it took an act of God to get his era under 20. Batters are hitting .365 against him, and in the twelve games he managed to show up for work, he gave up seven home runs and has walked 19 batters. His WHIP is horrific (2.02) and he's been placed on the DL until further notice.

I was talking to my girlfriend last night about something that's been bothering me lately. One of my favorite football players happens to be Shawne Merriman (OLB, Chargers). Don't ask me why, I just like him. Last season, Merriman was suspended for using steroids.
Didn't faze me in the least. Kept right on rooting for the man.
Now, Don Mattingly, my favorite baseball player of all time, forever and ever, has never been accused of taking steroids or growth hormone, or any other banned performance enhancing substance. The minute he does, I'll hate him for the rest of my life.
Done. Everything I own of Mattingly will be tarred, feathered, burned, ripped up, mailed back, and shot with a potato gun.
I wonder why that is.
Jayson Stark,ESPN, recently ran an article on the double standard that exists between the Barry Bonds case and the recent light that's been shed on Rick Ankiel.
I for one am guilty of what Stark outlines as "Double Standard #1; The Likeability Test".
In theory, a good journalist is supposed to leave his personal thoughts, beliefs, and opinions checked with his coat at the front door.
That is why I never got passed writing articles for the Quinnipiac University Student Chronicles.
I despise Barry Bonds and everything that he does, eats, watches, showers with, sleeps on, and mails his credit card bills to. There is not one single redeeming quality I can find in the man.
If he was to find a cure for the AIDS crisis, reverse global warming, wipe oil off a baby seal, develop a better mouse trap, and adopt a tribe of aborigines, I would scoff and chalk it up to a media publicity stunt.
Rick Ankiel could wipe out half of the rain forest, and I like many of my American counterparts, would smile and look in awe as he walks by, chainsaw in hand.
I can't figure it out.
Stark lists some possibilities for why this is plaguing me and scores of baseball fans throughout the country, and I think he may be onto something:
He wasn't even a hitter then.
It wasn't a banned substance then.
He had a doctor's prescription.
He was recovering from Tommy John surgery.
He needed it to heal.
He hasn't been accused of any "wrongdoing."
The media is out to get him.
It's not like he's Barry Bonds or something. (Stark; Exposing Our Dirty Double Standards)

With his recent heroics on the ball field, Cardinals pitcher turned outfielder Rick Ankiel, is becoming a modern day Roy Hobbs. Meteoric rise to the majors, swift encounter with darkness, and never to be heard from again, until...
108 Red Stitches' over analysis begins now:

The Legend:

Roy Hobbs: On his way to the majors (via train) Hobbs strikes out the immortal Walt "The Whammer" Whambold (the best hitter in the majors at the time) during a brief pit stop at a local carnival.

Rick Ankiel: With his dominating fastball, devastating sinker, and looping curveball, Ankiel strikes out 194 batters, posting a 3.50 ERA at the ripe old age of 21.

Advantage: Hobbs. Nobody strikes out a guy names Walt "The Whammer" Whambold and lives to tell about it.


Into the Darkness:

Hobbs: Shot by a temptress in a black dress.

Ankiel: Can't find the strike zone in Game 1 of the 2000 NLDS against the Braves, he allowed 4 runs on 2 hits, walking 4 and throwing 5 wild pitches before Tony LaRussa took him out of the game.

Advantage: Ankiel. It only gets worse; Ankiel goes on to pitch against the Mets in the NLCS. First inning = 20 pitches, five of which scoot past the catcher. He returns later in the series, still unable to find the plate, walking a handful more batters, and the Cardinals lose the series.

The Return:

Hobbs: Well, depends on who you listen to. Hollywood and the book says Hobbs returns 15 years later, as an outfielder, and begins to go on a hitting tear. He helps the Knights crawl out of the cellar, and this is where things diverge. Hollywood has Hobbs hitting a homerun that crashes into a light tower, ensuing fireworks display wows all. The book has Hobbs striking out in his last at bat, after accepting a handsome ransom from the teams owner to throw the game.

Ankiel: Returns to the majors as an outfielder, hitting a three run wallop in the 7th inning, to help the Cardinals beat the Brewers. Standing ovation, curtain calls, firstborns, all thrust at Ankiel.

Advantage: Movie Hobbs. Anyone that can hit a homerun and set off fireworks, while nursing a 15 year old gunshot wound and dealing with the fact that he might be a father, wins in our book.

Famous Quotes:

Hobbs: "Pick me out a winner Bobby".

Ankiel: "The frustration that built up, it seems like it was really eroding my spirit and starting to affect my personality off the field. It just became apparent that it was time for me to move on and pursue becoming an outfielder."

Advantage: Hobbs. Not one movie quote has spawned more jokes about picking one's nose.