Giants minor league catcher Eliezer Alfonso was suspended for 50 games due to failing a Major League Baseball drug test.

How F*#^kin dumb do you have to be to fail a PED's (performance enhancing drug) test, this late in the game? Its understandable if this was the first wave of testing, and the guy thought he might be able to scoot by....

But now? After all that's gone on around the steroid controversy? Clemens, in front of Congress? Canseco's incredibly shrinking balls? Did this guy not turn on the TV during the offseason?

Does his personal life coach's name rhyme with Barle Dove? (Karl Rove, for all the folks who have a hard time rhyming).

Here's an excerpt from the AP release concerning Alfonzo's suspension:

SAN FRANCISCO -- San Francisco Giants minor-league catcher Eliezer Alfonzo was suspended 50 games Wednesday for testing positive for a performance-enhancing substance, the first player penalized this year under Major League Baseball's drug program.

Alfonzo is on San Francisco's 40-man roster so he falls under the major-league program even though he has played all season at Triple-A Fresno.

"I made a mistake, and I want to apologize to my family, my teammates, the fans and the Giants organization," Alfonzo said in a statement released by the team. "I know what I did was wrong, and now I will pay the penalty. As a father, I now have to look my children in the eye and explain to them that I have made a big mistake, one, unfortunately, that they are also going to have to deal with, as well as me."

The 29-year-old Venezuelan was optioned to Fresno just before Opening Day and is batting .306 with three homers and 14 RBIs in 16 games. The suspension will start Thursday, and Alfonzo will be eligible to return to play June 27, assuming there are no postponements.

He played 113 games with the Giants in the 2006 and 2007 seasons, batting .263 with 13 homers and 45 RBIs.

The Giants said in a statement they were also disappointed to learn about the positive test and that they support baseball's testing program. Alfonzo is the first Giants player to be suspended under the major-league drug program that first started suspensions in 2004.

Injury bug got you down? That overpriced outfielder (Soriano) not holding up his end of the bargain? That late draft pickup (Foulke) land back on the DL? Hate seeing the dreaded DTD letters next to your starters name? Hate having to try to play Carnac, wildly guessing whether to sit, bench, or drop a guy?

Here's a quick list of guys you can pick up to keep your fantasy team's head above water until the early season bumps, bruises, pulls, aches, and pains fade away:

1. Santiago Casilla, RP (Oakland). With Keith Foulke spending some time on the DL, the A's found a stop-gap solution to bridge to their closer. Casilla's numbers (to date) are the following:

Bryan Hoch, a writer for MLB.com, wrote an article yesterday about Joba being concerned with re-injuring his left hamstring, an injury that sidelined him for a month at the beginning of the 2007 season. Here's a quick blurb, and if you're interested in reading more, click here.

Chamberlain ready, available in 'pen. Yankees give right hander two days off after heavy work load.

CLEVELAND -- Yankees right-hander Joba Chamberlain felt that familiar sensation in the back of his left leg, and warning bells might as well have gone off in his head.

When Chamberlain slipped in the wet clay of the mound at U.S. Cellular Field in Chicago on Thursday, the memories of a strained hamstring that delayed the opening of his 2007 season flashed back quickly. Chamberlain tweaked his left hamstring pitching that eighth inning against the White Sox, so when the Yankees came at him with two consecutive days off, he was in no position to argue.

"[The injury was in a] different spot, but it took a month and a half," Chamberlain said Sunday. "I didn't start [for Class A Tampa] until May 7. I knew exactly what it was because I dealt with it all last year. It wasn't anything serious at all, but you just want to make sure it's OK. I don't want to go out and create anything. It could be a little achy when I go out on April 26 and be out until June."

One day after the Yankees were rather secretive with Chamberlain's availability, instead using Kyle Farnsworth and Ross Ohlendorf in the late innings of a 4-3 loss to the Indians, Yankees manager Joe Girardi said that the 22-year-old right-hander would be ready to go in a similar situation if needed Sunday.

"He's available," Girardi said. "As I said [Saturday], he wasn't going to pitch because of how much we've used him. We were giving him two days off."

In the latest whirlwind in the search for Danny Lin's real father....wait...check that....the Clemens/McNamee steroid/hgh/tattle-tale/he-said-he-said courtroom drama, lawyers for the ex-Clemen trainer said " 'all is fair game,' lawyers [...] say they intend to capitalize on allegations of an extra-marital affair involving Clemens and a country music singer in defending a defamation suit Clemens filed against McNamee." (quote from ESPN.com News Services).

That country music singer is none other than the famous, great, talented, Mindy McCready.

Who?

Get ready to take an Advil after you glance over this information, as listed in an article found on ESPN.com:

The New York Daily News, citing "several" unnamed sources, reported on its Web site Sunday night that Clemens and country singer Mindy McCready had a decade-long affair. Clemens' lawyer, Rusty Hardin, said Clemens and McCready had a friendship and nothing more.

"If true, it's just another example of Roger's pervasive prevarications which will be at the core of any defamation case," said McNamee's attorney, Richard Emery, in an e-mail to The Associated Press.

"He flatly denies having had any kind of an inappropriate relationship with her," Hardin said, according to the Daily News. "He's considered her a close family friend ... He has never had a sexual relationship with her."

"The issue in Roger's suit against McNamee is Roger's reputation and how it has been damaged," Emery said, according to the Daily News. "If it's proved that he's a philanderer, his reputation is already damaged. When you sue for defamation, you put your whole reputation in the community at issue. Anything is fair game, including his claim of sanctimonious purity. We would cross-examine him and other witnesses who might impact on his alleged behavior. We would probably subpoena her and witnesses who knew [of the relationship]. He's a 'family man' -- he implies that. It's about what his damages are. All is fair game."

McCready's lawyer, Lee Ofman, said he did not have any comment on the Daily News story, according to the Associated Press.

Using the restroom at 108 Red Stitches Headquarters has been quite depressing these past few months.

No, nobody has any weird bowel diseases or drug addictions that leave them face down in the lav...

We just miss reading Rick Reilly.

Turn to the back page of a recent Sports Illustrated article. For as long as we can remember, Reilly's face was the first thing I saw whenever I got my magazine in the mail. I can fondly remember running to the mailbox every Wednesday and flipping furiously to the end, looking for another Rick Reilly classic.

I've knocked down the 100 pound Barnes and Noble shelf stocker, just to make sure I'd get a copy of his most recent paperback.

Now that Reilly's gone, something is missing.

Turn to the back page of your SI...there's a story about a man who holds the record for most days surfing (consecutively). Its a story about the Cal Ripken of waves. Towards the end of the article, the author (who knows his name, and frankly, who cares) writes about this man's wife, and how she's dying. She won't make it until Christmas.

Then, the article ends.

And that's just the beginning of the millions of reasons why we miss Reilly.

Reilly would have given the reader an opportunity to do what they do best; care. Take a look at Reilly's Nothing But Nets campaign. Reilly writes an article, scores of readers take up the cause, and donate generously.

Don't tell us there's a problem, and not give us the means to come up with a solution.

Reilly knew us best, don't treat us like we're stupid.

Your readers have the power to change the world, let us do it.

Hank Steinbrenner, son of Yankee owner George Steinbrenner, has made his feelings perfectly clear as to where and when Joba should be pitching; rotation. Here's an excerpt from an article that recently ran on ESPN.com:

We understand why Hank is doing what he's doing. He's trying to make a name for himself, separate himself from Papa Steinbrenner. In doing so, however, Hanky will inevitably continue to draw comparisons to his father.

Vicious cycle continues....

Steinbrenner outspoken about Chamberlain's future place with Yankees

"I want him as a starter and so does everyone else, including him, and that is what we are working toward and we need him there now," Steinbrenner told the New York Times. "There is no question about it, you don't have a guy with a 100-mile-per-hour fastball and keep him as a setup guy. You just don't do that. You have to be an idiot to do that."

Through Sunday's games, the Yankees stand at 10-10 and are closer to the bottom of the AL East than the top. New York is three games behind division-leading Boston and just 1½ games ahead of cellar dweller Tampa Bay.

Steinbrenner also took issue with how the Yankees handled Chamberlain's situation last season, before he was in a position to make changes.

"The mistake was already made last year switching him to the bullpen out of panic or whatever," Steinbrenner told the newspaper. "I had no say in it last year and I wouldn't have allowed it. That was done last year, so now we have to catch up. It has to be done on a schedule so we don't rush him."

To continue reading this article, click here.

Its almost the end of April, and "Big Papi" is beginning to look more like "Big Poopie". Fantasy players around the country are struggling to decide whether to keep many in the lineup, or replace him with a more productive option, Miguel Cairo.

Before "breaking out" against the Rangers the other day (Ortiz had a 2 hit game, including a grand slam) Ortiz had only one home run and four runs batted in. Not much production out of the four hole there.

To put Papi's numbers in perspective, guys like Mark DeRosa, Emil Brown, and Angel Pagan had (up until Papi's outburst) more than doubled Ortiz's rbi production.

Ask yourself this, do you walk DeRosa to pitch to Papi?

We began to wonder; "What is the source of Papi's troubles?" His swing looks the same as before, and it's not like he's facing anyone new so far this season (Sox have played Yankees, Cleveland, Detroit, and Toronto, teams they finished up against at the end of last season).

The answer came to us last night, while watching television. Papi has a new baseball cleat that he's advertising.

Its got to be the shoes!

Everyone talks about not messing with a guys hands (while he's at the plate) or checking his eyes to see if he's not seeing the ball. No one ever talks about the importance of comfortable shoes while trying to hit a 95 mph fastball.

What you put on your feet will determine the comfort level for the rest of your body. Your feet are the foundation for everything you do in life; walk, stand, sit, swing a bat, etc. If you're not comfortable at the base, everything else is out of whack.

Some one needs to get to Ortiz, and tell him its time to stop shilling a pair of s#*t cleats and get back to his comfort zone. No product endorsement is worth shaving off two hundred points off your batting average.

Until his feet come to his senses, Papi will continue to be "Poopie".

Wake up, rub eyes, open laptop, log onto ESPN.com, search for glasses, rub eyes again (this time in disbelief; Swisher can't be doing that bad again...).

Such is the morning routine of this 108 Red Stitches contributing author. If ESPN.com is void of any interest, I'll mosey on over to Rotowire.com, or if I'm looking for propaganda articles, I'll click over to MLB.com.

Not anymore. I'm a proud, card-carrying member of the best sports site you may have never heard of.

Crowdpicks.com.

For the record, I am not getting any compensation for writing this, there's no tricky links in this post that will benefit myself if you click on them. This is a simple, Grade-A, wholesome, genuine, perfectly legit, good-old recommendation.

This site is a blend of facebook, myspace, vegas gambling sites (without the money transactions), and youtube, all designed for the sports fan in mind.

Crowdpicks.com advertises itself as the only sports website where you'll have to prove your worth.

Oh, is it worth it.

Members consistently comment on articles that you write or post (there's a blogging feature and a news story linking feature) and you can even embed youtube videos for others to watch.

There is a profit sharing system in place, similar to Revver.com's, but in my honest opinion, the money making aspect to the site is the least of all the features.

You can try to predict game day scores, and you're given trophies to display on your homepage if you become a successful member of crowdpicks.com. They give you tools to promote yourself throughout the internet such as the snazzy looking crowdpick badge, located at the top right portion of this blog.

Fans on this site range from your everyday baseball fanatic to your lovable beer guzzling Nascar fans. There's even a section for the more refined golf addicts.

College sports, pro sports, you take your pick. Try out the site, you'll love it.

ESPN's Fantasy Department recently ran an article explaining how and why washup and never drafted Aubrey Huff will outperform a rising star and over paid for Evan Longoria. While the evidence is there, we don't totally agree with Huff outperforming Longoria, but we do have our own list of overbid and underpaid:

Nick Swisher vs. Andre Ethier

Swisher has been slow to perform this season (fantasy wise) batting a sub par .268. Not the greatest batting average for a lead off hitter. He's been extremely streaky (2-12 in one stretch followed by a 4-10 current stretch) and his power isn't there just yet. Sure he's scored a bunch of runs (11) because he's hitting in the lead off spot, but lets be honest, I didn't draft Swisher because he scores a lot. Note; he is still Selective Swisher, walking 12 times so far this season.
Here's a fun stat: Percentage of Fantasy Leagues With a Team That Owns Nick Swisher: 100%

Andre Ethier, on the other hand, is only owned in 80% of the same leagues (ESPN Fantasy) and is outperforming Swisher; .308 BA, 2 HR, 11 RBI, and has a stolen base.

Are we saying that Ethier is a better player than Swisher? No, not really. We're just pointing out the oddity of dissimilar players putting up similar numbers and being drafted on opposite ends of the board.

Frustrating is the life of a fantasy league team owner. He carefully selects a player he hopes will bat third or fourth in a semi-potent White Sox lineup, only to find out Swisher will be batting leadoff, and some other owner gets lucky by drafting a fourth string outfielder who supplants Juan Pierre in the Dodger batting order.

Today is Jackie Robinson day, and to celebrate, ESPN Research writer Mark Kelly put together this fascinating look (by the numbers) at Jackie Robinson's career and life. Here are the first 10, and if you want to see the rest, click here.

By Mark Kelly, ESPN Research

1 MVP award and Rookie of the Year award won.

2 Number of World Series HRs

3 Number of ABs in his first game

4 Number of sports lettered in at

UCLA

5 The youngest of 5 children

6 Number of World Series appearances

7 Number of seasons he scored 99 or more runs Inning that he stole home in
Game 1 of 1955 WS

8 More runs than strikeouts in World Series career

9 Number of times he was hit by a pitch in rookie season

10 Number of seasons in MLB.

To continue reading this list, click here.

A construction worker at the new Yankee Stadium, tried to place a curse on the new field, by burying a David Ortiz jersey deep in a concrete pillar.

An excerpt from the ESPN.com article:

NEW YORK -- A construction worker's bid to curse the Yankees by planting a Red Sox jersey in their new stadium was foiled Sunday when the team removed the offending shirt from its burial spot in the ballpark.

After locating the shirt in a service corridor behind what will be a restaurant in the new Yankee Stadium, construction workers jackhammered through the remaining concrete Sunday and pulled it out.

The team learned that a Sox-rooting construction worker had buried a shirt in the stadium from a report in the New York Post on Friday, team officials said.

Yankees President Randy Levine said the team at first considered leaving the shirt.

"The first thought was, you know, it's never a good thing to be buried in cement when you're in New York," Levine said. "But then we decided, 'Why reward somebody who had really bad motives and was trying to do a really bad thing?'"

I'll be the first to admit that I do not like Barry Bonds.

I never liked him when he was a Pirate, I never liked him when he played for the Giants, and I sure as hell didn't like him whenever he floated the idea of becoming a Yankee.

As far as punishing Bonds, Major League Baseball has no right in punishing the "new home run king". Legally at least.

You see, Bonds is a crafty man, or so he thought. By opting out of the players union, Bonds became a one man marketing dream.

If you want Bonds in a video game (approved by Major League Baseball and the Players Union) you have to negotiate with him directly. If you want him to appear on your baseball card, contact Bonds' agent, not the Players Union. If you want to film a public service announcement with Bonds and one hundred other ball players, you'll get the ball players, but you'll have to pay for Bonds.

But, by opting out of the Players Union, Major League Baseball will never have to worry about punishing Bonds.

He punished himself.

Companies like 2kSports and EA Games refuse to deal with Bonds, and pay unrealistic sums of money to use his likeness in their baseball franchises. Instead, gamers have to deal with a forty year old white guy who bats and throws right handed, and who answers to the name of John Dowd. All his stats are set to zero, and there is no record of the all-time home run leader throughout any aspect of the games. If you play with the San Fransisco Giants, you're basically left with a forty year old rookie, making eighteen million dollars.

Bonds punished himself by making it almost impossible to remember him. Baseball card companies, already strapped for cash (dying industry) have a hard time justifying negotiations with Bonds and company.

By opting out of the Players Union, Bonds punished himself. He doesn't have the backing of one of the most powerful unions in the United States when he appears before court. Any deal Major League Baseball strikes with the government, leaves Bonds out in the cold. His arrogance and foolishness could lead to his eventual imprisonment.

So, you ask again, should Major League Baseball punish Barry Bonds?

No. I think he's done enough.

Enter to win a chance to sing at the 2008 All-Star Game? Last chance to sing at Yankee Stadium? I'm convinced. Here's Rhett and Link, with a little inspiration to get you going.