Giants minor league catcher Eliezer Alfonso was suspended for 50 games due to failing a Major League Baseball drug test.

How F*#^kin dumb do you have to be to fail a PED's (performance enhancing drug) test, this late in the game? Its understandable if this was the first wave of testing, and the guy thought he might be able to scoot by....

But now? After all that's gone on around the steroid controversy? Clemens, in front of Congress? Canseco's incredibly shrinking balls? Did this guy not turn on the TV during the offseason?

Does his personal life coach's name rhyme with Barle Dove? (Karl Rove, for all the folks who have a hard time rhyming).

Here's an excerpt from the AP release concerning Alfonzo's suspension:

SAN FRANCISCO -- San Francisco Giants minor-league catcher Eliezer Alfonzo was suspended 50 games Wednesday for testing positive for a performance-enhancing substance, the first player penalized this year under Major League Baseball's drug program.

Alfonzo is on San Francisco's 40-man roster so he falls under the major-league program even though he has played all season at Triple-A Fresno.

"I made a mistake, and I want to apologize to my family, my teammates, the fans and the Giants organization," Alfonzo said in a statement released by the team. "I know what I did was wrong, and now I will pay the penalty. As a father, I now have to look my children in the eye and explain to them that I have made a big mistake, one, unfortunately, that they are also going to have to deal with, as well as me."

The 29-year-old Venezuelan was optioned to Fresno just before Opening Day and is batting .306 with three homers and 14 RBIs in 16 games. The suspension will start Thursday, and Alfonzo will be eligible to return to play June 27, assuming there are no postponements.

He played 113 games with the Giants in the 2006 and 2007 seasons, batting .263 with 13 homers and 45 RBIs.

The Giants said in a statement they were also disappointed to learn about the positive test and that they support baseball's testing program. Alfonzo is the first Giants player to be suspended under the major-league drug program that first started suspensions in 2004.

In the latest whirlwind in the search for Danny Lin's real father....wait...check that....the Clemens/McNamee steroid/hgh/tattle-tale/he-said-he-said courtroom drama, lawyers for the ex-Clemen trainer said " 'all is fair game,' lawyers [...] say they intend to capitalize on allegations of an extra-marital affair involving Clemens and a country music singer in defending a defamation suit Clemens filed against McNamee." (quote from ESPN.com News Services).

That country music singer is none other than the famous, great, talented, Mindy McCready.

Who?

Get ready to take an Advil after you glance over this information, as listed in an article found on ESPN.com:

The New York Daily News, citing "several" unnamed sources, reported on its Web site Sunday night that Clemens and country singer Mindy McCready had a decade-long affair. Clemens' lawyer, Rusty Hardin, said Clemens and McCready had a friendship and nothing more.

"If true, it's just another example of Roger's pervasive prevarications which will be at the core of any defamation case," said McNamee's attorney, Richard Emery, in an e-mail to The Associated Press.

"He flatly denies having had any kind of an inappropriate relationship with her," Hardin said, according to the Daily News. "He's considered her a close family friend ... He has never had a sexual relationship with her."

"The issue in Roger's suit against McNamee is Roger's reputation and how it has been damaged," Emery said, according to the Daily News. "If it's proved that he's a philanderer, his reputation is already damaged. When you sue for defamation, you put your whole reputation in the community at issue. Anything is fair game, including his claim of sanctimonious purity. We would cross-examine him and other witnesses who might impact on his alleged behavior. We would probably subpoena her and witnesses who knew [of the relationship]. He's a 'family man' -- he implies that. It's about what his damages are. All is fair game."

McCready's lawyer, Lee Ofman, said he did not have any comment on the Daily News story, according to the Associated Press.

Major League Teams will continue to take measures in attempts to curb steroid and Performance Enhancing Drug use, per the suggestions laid out by the Mitchell Report.

Background checks on clubhouse employees, easier and unannounced access for drug testing agents (previously, teams were notified prior to the agents arrival), logging info for all packages received by clubhouses, and permanent credentials for sample collectors are just a few of the changes implemented by the head honchos in MLB Offices.

Drama continues to grow in the Clemens/McNamee fued, in a he said/he said press war. Latest move: Clemens tape records a conversation he has with his lawyer and ex-trainer McNamee.

Touche Mr. Clemens, its your move Mr. McNamee, choose wisely!